the preclusive act

the function of maintenance is to preserve the function of a system & its parts.

looking in or at or thru? before & before, what remains is what was left behind.

i'm on the maintenance team, it's how i get paid.

this dream, where i could leave early cos nothing "works" & anyway i spent most of the shift on youtube & craigslist prowling for a speculative commune.

zekarias says it might be saying "there's nothing to see here". i'm afraid he's right. that being said, it's not so much that there's nothing visible exactly but that rather, nothing-visible's exactly doing its given optical thing.

my boss became a landlord. i unwittingly became a superintendent for my boss who became a landlord & is not my landlord but is my boss which is a kind of landlord in that he owns something that i need in order to live.

part of maintenance is facilitating a structure in it's persistance & that structure's persistence is inherently conservative, don't you think?

zekarias says it doesn't want you to look. i mean, he says it actually does, but the problem here is looking & it's hard to engage the problem of looking while looking at the thing engendering the problem of looking which necessitates being seen.

i really want to quit. like, pretty bad. where pipes geyser water, shit flows from toilets, locks break & the site becomes inaccessible as i walk away into the oblivion of precious, precarious life. but i don't think i can until i have something else lined up.

it's vampyric cos nothing looks back (lacks a soul) or out (lacks vistas' inherent drive towards real estate), so i wade back into the market deluge to buy hand sanitizer & disinfectant wipes.

my reluctant attachment to a wage maintains the last line of physical defense of an impoverished, tax deductible investment in the idea that it's all good when really it's all fucked. it's all good tho cos it's all fucked & it's cool cos something shows me, impossibly, furtively, that everything we need is somehow here already. i can't have it, cool, fine, let's get it.